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β TITAN CITY EMERGENCY BROADCAST Citizens are advised to remain indoors. Gym members are advised to increase dosage. Medical professionals are advised to stop reading immediately. REB: RENAL REVENGE is live. The Tactical Terror Division has deployed one heavily armed, fluorescently overdeveloped mercenary into eight consecutive situations that absolutely did not require a minigun. The result is our biggest browser game yet. 8 STAGES.β
BEST PLAYED ON DESKTOP OR TABLETβ YOUR MISSION Survive the Jungle Renal Warzone. Flatten the War Zone. Escape the Zoo. Ignore every warning issued by the Nephro Ward. Enter the Cardio Ward at a heart rate that voids the warranty. Storm the Beach / Sea Assault. Contaminate the Toxic Factory. Then walk directly into the Renal Fortress because apparently nobody at TTD understands escalation. Three difficulty settings are available: CASUALβ HARDβ RENAL FAILUREβ β βIF YOUR PRE-WORKOUT HAS INSTRUCTIONS, YOUβRE ALREADY OVERTHINKING IT.ββ REB comes equipped with heavy minigun fire, RENAL RAGE, questionable supplement pickups and the confidence of a man whose kidneys have filed for independent statehood. Ammunition is limited. Creatine is not. Common sense has been removed from the build for performance reasons. β OFFICIAL TTD FITNESS GUIDANCE REST DAY: propaganda created by Big Sofa. HYDRATION: whatever is currently glowing green. CARDIO: running toward incoming fire. DELOAD WEEK: surrender terminology. RPE 10: warm-up. RENAL FUNCTION: classified. βPAIN IS TEMPORARY. SCREENSHOTS OF YOUR BLOOD PANEL ARE FOREVER.ββ Titan City Health Department officials have requested that we clarify the game is satire. TTD officials have requested that we clarify DRRRRRT. The dispute remains unresolved. β ALSO DEPLOYED AT TTD HQ The TTD Arcade now contains four active cabinets: TITAN BALL β92β TITAN BALL β94β REB: RENAL FAILUREβ REB: RENAL REVENGEβ Titan City Comics Issues #1β3 are also online and free to read. More games, comics, transmissions, mutant athletes, catastrophic products and municipal negligence are already in production. β TBN BREAKING NEWS LOCAL MAN TAKES 3G CREATINE. THIRST INCREASES 400%. TITAN CITY MEDIA DECLARES RENAL EMERGENCY. Witnesses report the subject responded: βYEAAAAAH.β He then opened fire. DRRRRRRRRRRRRT. β βΆ ENTER THE RENAL WARZONE
V3.7 // FINAL DIFFICULTY LOCKβ No account required. No download required. No microtransactions. No battle pass. No $14.99 fluorescent kidney skin. Just open the cabinet and start firing. β TACTICAL TERROR DIVISIONβ NO WITNESSES. ONLY LEGENDS. TRANSMISSION END // CH 87 |
π΄ Titan City // mutant gym culture // retro action // comics // games // chaos.